Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
