Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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