Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
