The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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