He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
