Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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