my sisters under your porch take her home
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
