she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
