there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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