Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
