Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
