just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
