Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize