I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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