my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
