can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
