Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
