i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
