Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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