Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
