I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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