FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize