forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
the liver wants what the liver wants
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
