we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
bring money and cleavage
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
