At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You did what with his pubic hair?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
