Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize