69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
