she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
