I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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