I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize