What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
