He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
