What a fucking waste of an outfit
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
