So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
