it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize