Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
