I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
