she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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