Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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