After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
