Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
