Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
This is my gift to your gina
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
