I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize