oh god the rape fog is back!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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