he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
