last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
handjob tips. give me some.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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