i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
