i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
