Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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