i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just threw up on my dentist
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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