i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
