You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
