the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
