am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
be right there i have to get my cape
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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