dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
