genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
