Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize