Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
sex in a hospital.. check
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
