she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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