Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize