Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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