You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
