1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
