We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
