Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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