omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
