If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
