You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
