I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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