Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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