I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
