Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
