All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
