I forgot how hot balto sounded
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
