The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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